I hope Santa was good to you this year.....

What is that I hear.....

Nothing...thats right folks .... Silence.....
Jaxon is spending the night at his grandma and grandpa's house tonight. This is our first night away from him and I am very proud of myself. He is only ten weeks old and I am allowing the boy out of my sight. I really do miss him already but I keep focusing on that good nights' sleep that I will be getting tonight. I will need to get up twice to pump, but that is just pumping and going right back to bed no funny business in between. My child who once slept 4/5 hour strectches is suddently back to eating every 2 hours day and night.
So what might a girl do with her new found free time... Dinner and a movie. Jason and I are hanging out with our favorite neighbors tonight. This was typically our Friday night in our past life, so it is nice to revisit that once again. Sushi and wine here I come.....(I will hold off on the wasabi as Jaxon gets very fussy when I eat spicy foods.)

EDIT:

I was able to reschedule Jaxon's appointment for November 17th, this happens to be a Tuesday that I will be home. ( I set it up this way)
Just in case he needs his mommy....

8 weeks old...

This Tuesday Jaxon was officially 2 months old. I have been dreading this milestone as I knew he would be getting his shots. I had it all set up so that Jason could take him to his appointment and I could be outside the room ready to comfort him. I know technically this is the second set of shots but I was in the recovery room when he had his newborn shots so I did not have to experience this.
Well the night before his scheduled appointment the nurse calls to say that the doctor is not seeing any well children. He is only accepting appointments of those who are sick ( which mainly consists of children with the H1N1 virus). I am so thankful that the office is this considerate but now I get to have anxiety for another week or so.
And to top it off if I don't' get him in to see the doctor in the next two weeks I will be back at work.
Which means mommy will not be comforting him all day after his appointment, daycare ladies will be...

Fall is here

I can't believe it is October already. I can't believe Fall is here.... And most of all I can't believe that in just 3 weeks I will be heading back to work. In some ways I am ready for this transition and others not. I am definitely looking forward to getting back into the swing of things ( meaning a routine), having a daily shower and making sure my teeth are brushed. But I feel like at 10 weeks of age it is so soon to send my Mr. man to day care. I could cry.

He is just so little still, and really needs his mommy ( so I make myself believe). My mom has offered to take off of work and visit for a week to watch him. This is a nice offer keeping in mind that my mom is 3 hours away and that she would take off of work to watch him so that I could put off day care for one more week. It makes me sad too, because every time I talk to my grandma she says " I wish you were closer" because she too would jump at the chance to watch him. I would feel relieved if this could be.

I am torn as to what I will choose to do, but Jaxon will have to go to daycare, and I will (eventually) get over it !

5 weeks...

Lets see what can I say about this past week... We are sometimes sleeping in 3 hour stretches at night, and of course during the day, go figure. My mastisis has cleared up but not without the help of antibiotics. This has made Jaxon have severe loose stool thus resulting in mega diaper rash. He screams when you touch it with a wipe.

This week was also the second time I have tried him on formula and it was not good. I tried him at two weeks old on Enfamil Premium with lipil he did great on the liquid but threw up the powder. This past week I tried Similac Advanced and he was throwing up so bad he was gagging and having a hard time actually getting it back up. This made me nervous for the day that he does need formula because I don't know what I will do. So far we have not needed to supplement, but I don't plan on breastfeeding forever, I need my life back. Also in the case that my supply tanks, I need an option. At this point my only option is to wait until his two month check up and as the doctor about a formula recommendation. I swear they should sell samples of this crap so you do not have to spend 15-20$ on a can to find out whether their little bellies can tolerate it. My friend did send me a same of the gentle ease up and up brand from Target. This will be next on my list.

Miserable Mastisis

I know this may be TMI,but since I am up at 4:50 with a 102 degree fever I thought I would share with someone. I started feeling very run down a few days ago, and rightfully so I have a newborn. But it seems over the last few days my symptoms have turned into flu like symptoms, achy all over and just plain out of it. Well tonight I had Jason take my temp and it was 102 degrees. I kind of put two and two together when I took into consideration that my left breast feels like it is on fire. And I don't' know if it means anything but Jaxon is not interested in nursing on that side at all. He is pulling on and off.
So here I am burring up with a fever waiting for 8 a.m. to come so that I can phone the nurse at the O.B. office. I also asked Jason to stay home today because with my fever I feel too weak to care for the baby.

3 weeks old

Yup, Today Jaxon is 3 weeks old. It is so hard to believe especially since the last three weeks have been such a blur. We by no means have a routine down, we are still just thriving in the moment. I now know why sleep deprivation is a form of torture !

This past Tuesday Jaxon weighed in at 9 lbs 4 oz, so he is a growing boy. And for as much as he eats he should be !! I have introduced the bottle and even supplemented 4 oz of formula and all went over well. This makes me feel better, as I have been getting mixed reviews on both. My boy does not seem picky !

I am still not able to leave the house as freely as I would like ( as I need to) because I cannot carry him in the car seat. I hope by next week, my abs will be feeling much better, and less like they will split from my incision on down !

I am looking forward to getting back to exercising. I think (budget permitting) that I may sign up for an early morning Saturday Pilate's class. True Pilate's ~ using the reformer and cadillac ! I feel like I need to reshape my body.

Review of baby gear !

Jaxon weighs in on his likes an dislikes:

Bassinet- hates it ! I borrowed this from my sister - in- law and I am so glad I did because he hates it.

Pack N Play- Jaxon is now in our room in the PNP for reason stated above. He is not a fan of the newborn napper so that came out last night. We did not get any more sleep than usual, but he looked more comfy !

Swing- Loves it ! I personally think that the lowest setting is too fast for an infant but he does not seem to mind !

Bouncer- Hates It !

Car Seat- OH man- hates it ! He stiffens up, and has the tightest grip on the straps. He also does not fall asleep in the car. I will give him sometime to adjust to this. I was hoping to travel to my home town without Jason while on maternity leave. If Jaxon does not warm up to the car seat, this will be impossible.

Sling- Hates it, I am thinking that I will keep trying this one. I want him to like it ! I just want him close while I am doing things around the house. This is the perfect solution since we live in a tri - level. I cannot possibly be on the same floor as him at all times.

Mommy/Daddy's arms- Loves It ! He loves sleeping on our chest. And I think he feels real snuggled in - in his daddy's arms.

And the number one item, getting five stars- hands down.....
Mommy's milk !!! He loves to eat. He is working at being more efficient, and I at being more patient ! I love this bond !

Cry baby- Cry baby !

NO- not Jaxon, me. I can't seem to shake this crying spell that comes over me when night time falls. I find that I am constantly waking to check on him, almost wishing he would wake up so that I can hold him.
I look at him and cry, and feel such the need to be close to him. My BF is every two hours around the clock but for some reason at night I wish it was per hour. I love my little man so much ! I could sit and stroke his beautiful black hair, his tiny perfect hands, and his kissable cheeks !

My mom is here and leaving on Sunday after being here for one week. I am so anxious about this. At least with her here I am sleeping through the day, since I can't seem to catch more than 45 minute stretches throughout the night. I don't know how I will get any sleep with her gone.

Jason has been such a great support person and has offered to get up during the night, but it feels like by letting him do so he is taking something away from me. I know this is not true, but I dont' think I would truly be sleeping anyway knowing that Jaxon is up and I could possibly be with him.

( I had a pic to show, but blogger is being silly for the moment)

Until I get a chance to blog....

Here are some photos:

Jaxon David was born 8.27.2009 at 9:02 a.m. He weighs 8 lbs 7 oz. of chubiness ! He is 21 in long.

I am recovering as well as you can be from a C/S. BF is rough but going well. Jason rocks at taking care of both Jaxon and I ! I am so thankful, God is so Good ~

Birthday !

I get to meet my son today !

Officially on Leave....

My maternity leave officially started yesterday. I think my employer was expecting me to work up until Wednesday but in reality there is just no way it could have been done. Also the longer I stuck it out the more work that was piling up. We had new patients starting which means new assessments, treatment plans and papers to be filed with the Social Security Administration, Medicare, and on- and on-

Also no official decision has been made about how much time I will be taking off. Now that I have a planned C-Section I almost feel that I need the entire 12 weeks. I feel like the first 6 weeks will just be dedicated to me feeling better and taking care of myself. I truly won't know, until I am in the situation.

So here I am day two of my leave. I have been filling my time with small cleaning projects and running errands. I could come up with a long list of things to do but I am so physically uncomfortable that it would never get done.

At this point, I am at peace with the cleanliness of the house, the unfinished nursery, and the home projects left undone (or completely untouched ).

I am just ready for BABY !!

39 weeks...

Today was my 39 week appointment. No changes. The doctor said even if we took the size of the baby out of the equation we would still be talking C-Section. His position is still off to the left side, and while he is head down he is not in the pelvis.
She also broke the news to me that "once a C-Section, always a C-Section" I know some doctors will allow you to try for a VBAC, but obviously she is not one of them.
We talked about how the procedure will go, and what to expect. Jason asked a really good question during the Q & A,( one that I would have never thought to ask myself) Will his lungs be suctioned ? The doctor thought this was a very good question and could tell that he had been doing his reading !! The answer is yes, babies who get to experience contractions in the womb have a type of cleansing ( if you will) to their lungs. Unfortunately C-Sections babies do not get this opportunity. The doctor said that just one suction of the mask is enough to make them take their first breath. I am glad we got that out in the open so I will no be alarmed if they take a mask and bag to my baby's face. After delivery Jason will go with the baby to the nursery for sometime while I get cleaned up. My doctor said that I can expect stitches ( no staples) and dermabond- a type of glue that will last for about one week.
So that is that, I report for duty at 6:30 a.m. on August 27th !
It is so weird knowing that the baby will come soon after that !

What is on your I-pod ?

I have an I pod that was purchased back in 2005. It is the I-Pod mini, and it also has I- shuffle for the car. I was really into this, making play lists, and uploading songs. I would take this on all of our vacations, and to the gym.

I have not picked this thing up about 2 years. The main reason is it needs the software updated, and I am just too lazy. I guess I am just not that into it.

Okay so this is why I am posting this. At church on Sunday, someone gave me a great idea. They were talking about how they wish that we could share beautiful modern worship songs with our partner church in Africa. Well what better way to do this than on an I-Pod. I don't use it, I have no desire to keep it laying around here any longer so what the hay !

38 weeks....

Yesterday was my 38 week appointment. And I am finally out of the rotation of doctors and back to my own. Sigh.... of relief. My main concern for this appointment is that from week 33/34 up until last week I have been told that the baby is head down. Now a few weeks ago I would have completely agreed due to the amount of pressure I have felt with BH. But lately no so much. I have a ton of pressure on my left hip bone and what feels like feet off to the right side of my ribs. So during my uncomfortable exam she said " you right- I don't feel a head any longer". What not head down, I'm 38 weeks ! The doctor did say that since the past few weeks he has been in the vertex position she was pretty confident he may have just floated above the pelvis. But at 38 weeks there is not much time left for guessing games. I am sitting now waiting to hear from medical imaging, as the doctor ordered an ultrasound for TODAY.
I am so excited for this. My last ultrasound was at the mid point in pregnancy so I can't imagine what he looks like at 38 weeks. The point of the ultrasound is to check on the presentation of the baby, but I also want to get a guess on his weight. Yeah me ( and Jason too).
I will update this post after my appointment with any exciting news.

37 week appointment....

I've got nothin' ! To report that is - no news ! My cervix is softening and I am a finger tip dilated, but other than that a BIG FAT nothin' UGH - this is emotionally draining. Up until this point in the pregnancy I have been contracting on a regular basis, and now nothing. I am barely having contractions.

I know pregnancy is 40 weeks and will be content carrying up until this point, even to 41. But you see all this time that I have been experiencing contractions ( painful in every way) I thought it may be doing something. So I am just disappointed - it seems a little like false advertisement.

As we speak I am bouncing on my exercise ball hoping that at my appt this Thursday I will have some progress.

Sleep...

What's that ??? To say I have been restless for the last few weeks would be putting it mildly. It is almost impossible to get comfortable during the night. I find myself waking several times to stretch, walk around, switch sides, and re arrange the pillow (s). But I know the end is near.

This Friday will be my 37 week appointment. The doctor said if I wanted they could check me. I am debating on whether or not I want to know the verdict. I have been having contractions on and off, and when I say this I mean- when time able they are 8 minutes apart. I did bring this up at last weeks appointment, and the doctor's words were " lets hope it ripening that cervix" It sure better be doing something, lady - It hurts !!

I know I have said this before, but my baby room is still not complete. I have come to terms with this. I am doing the best I can. I am still working,( at my job ) and trying to get ahead since I have such minimal coverage for my leave. At times when I get home from work, I sleep for two hours or so. Which leaves just enough time to get a few things done around the house and back into bed. I am letting some things go and hope that when my family comes to town they will help with this stuff around the house. I know I can count on both of my grandmas and my mom for some support in this department.

Whoa....

I only have one post for this month. As you may guess I have been pretty busy. And when I am not busy- I am sleeping. It seems that the first tri sleepiness has returned.
Jason and I have been so busy preparing the room, organizing "stuff" and showing the house. It is all way too much at this point. He and I have discussed taking the house off of the market or limiting our availability ( or willingness) to show the house to two days per week. It seems like I no sooner get things laid out to organize and I have to scram to get them all picked up because we have a showing.
On top of this I am still working, and this is another sore subject. It looks like my case load will somewhat be neglected while I am on leave. This has left me with no choice but to work ahead. And by ahead I mean complete work through October. No pressure~
Lets see what else have I been up to, oh yeah visiting every daycare in town and the neighboring one; both in home and center. Attending all of my showers, 6 TOTAL ! You would think that Jason and I came from divorced homes but neither of us do. We have been so blessed by our family, friends, co-workers etc. We have truly been showered. If you were to look at my registry you would see I have a total of 3 things left on it !
Next on my list is to find a pediatrician. At my last two doctors appts they have asked for the name of the pediatrician and I am getting embarrassed that I don't have one.
Whew, well not to make excuses- but I hope this more than explains my absence.
Stay tuned, once all of the pieces of the room are together I will post some pictures. I am still waiting on one piece of furniture, but it is looking like that may not arrive in time. It is just a book shelf so I am not to worried about it.

Maternity Photo's

So awhile back I mentioned that Jason and I would have a maternity shoot, and we did. I love most of the pictures but not all. I would none in the pink.
I am not sure how to share other than posting the public link, it may ask that you "sign in", however this information is not stored or used in anyway- I think the photographer uses this to keep track of the hits on this site.
Event link: http://www.pictage.com/677669

I hope this works.....